“Planet Earth contains extraordinary beauty. Also contains two-legged black holes of doom and gloom. Recommend emotional shields and human repellent spray at all times.”
Dr. Zuuunix
Galactic Federation | Anthropologist
The Gloom Merchant™ Human Repellent Spray
$19.95 USD
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The Gloom Merchant™ Human Repellent Spray
$19.95 USD
No More Gloom & Doom!
People Suck™ Gloom Merchant™ Human Repellent Spray deflects unnecessary panic. Preserves optimism. One spray creates an invisible barrier that discourages worst-case scenarios, unsolicited disaster predictions, and emotionally exhausting “just being realistic” commentary.
Product Details
Deflect Unnecessary Panic!
Formulated to Repel:
- Open conversations with breaking bad news
- Turn minor setback into apocalypses
-
Predict world collapse before coffee
Encourages:
- Calm
- Forward thinking
-
Peace over panic
THE PERFECT FUNNY GIFT FOR ANYONE WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH FROM ALL GLOOM MERCHANTS. REPEL UNNECESSARY PANIC. SPRAY RESPONSIBLY.
Care & Maintenance
To maintain the beauty and integrity of your purchase, we recommend treating it with care. Simple maintenance practices, such as gentle washing and proper storage, can effectively preserve the longevity of your favorites. We encourage you to refer to the care instructions included with each item, designed to help you keep your purchase in top condition.
Size & Fit
Our products are crafted to fit true to size, ensuring that you can confidently select your usual size with ease. Whether you’re looking for a relaxed or tailored fit, our designs are made to complement your unique shape and style.
No more gloom & doom! Deflect unnecessary panic! Preserve optimism!
Hilarious collection gift packs for all special occasions!
People Suck™ Urban Decay Collection
Take your gift giving to the next level. Save humanity with our People Suck™ Urban Decay Collection!
4 Piece Collection Includes:
- Not Today, Karen™ Spray the Crazy Away!
- Toxic Mansplainer™ Repels Condescension!
- Not Another Influencer™ No More Selfies!
- Gloom Merchant™ No More Gloom & Doom!
People Suck™ Energy Vampires Collection
Take your gift giving to the next level. Keep your sanity, protect your personal space with our People Suck™ Energy Vampires Collection!
4 Piece Collection Includes:
- Family Member Detoxifier™ Spray the Negativity Away!
- EX-Exterminator™ Spray the Past Away!
- Chronic Complainer™ No More Whining!
- The Know-It-All™ Repels Narcissism!
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