Our Philosophy
Our Philosophy - The Story Behind People Suck’s Gags and Gifts
People Suck™ is the home of Human Repellent Sprays – funny gifts created for all those wonderfully irritating people you know, love and occasionally wish would leave you alone. Each spray takes aim at a familiar personality, from the chronic complainer and know-it-all to the toxic mansplainer and family member who seriously tests your patience.
The bottles are filled with 100% purified water – no chemicals, no toxic ingredients and, unfortunately, no scientifically proven ability to make annoying people disappear. The real point is the joke. Match a spray to someone who fits the description a little too well, give them a spray and hand it over. Enjoy the moment they realise exactly why you bought it for them.
People Suck™ is silly, irreverent and absolutely not meant to be taken too seriously. These are funny gag gifts made to get people laughing, wind up the people you love and make gifting a little less predictable.
The Very Serious Thinking Behind These Funny Gifts
Every era has its challenges. For the dinosaurs, it was the asteroids. For vampires, it was garlic. For us? It’s people. Let’s be honest, people suck. They gossip. They overshare. They gaslight. They influencer-ize every latte. The list is endless. And sometimes, you just want to spray them away.
It turns out the problem started when entitled people decided they are the main character in the human story, without reading the script. This explains why some people on this planet act like Energy Vampires, or contribute to the cause of Urban Decay, as if summoned by ancient prophecy.
That’s why we created PEOPLE SUCK™, a collection of completely non-scientifically designed Human Repellent Sprays, to defend your sanity from the everyday annoyances of human beings - one spray at a time. Think of them as funny gag gifts with a purpose: calling out the people who suck and getting a laugh while you’re at it.
Two Collections. United By The Same Problem
People suck in different ways, so naturally, one collection was never going to cover it. We’ve divided some of humanity’s most irritating characters into two camps: Urban Decay and Energy Vampires. Different offenders, different crimes against your sanity, same completely non-scientific solution.
People Suck™ Urban Decay Collection
$49.95 USD
Some people make the world around them just that little bit worse. They’re obnoxious, entitled, blissfully unaware and somehow convinced everyone else is the problem. We call it Urban Decay.
The Urban Decay Collection turns these everyday offenders into funny gag gifts you can actually hand to the person responsible. Because you probably can’t change their behaviour, but you can give them a Human Repellent Spray and hope they take the hint.
4 Piece Collection Includes:
- Not Today, Karen™ Spray the Crazy Away!
- The Toxic Mansplainer™ Repels Condescension!
- Not Another Influencer™ No More Selfies!
- The Gloom Merchant™ No More Gloom & Doom!
Pickup currently not available
People Suck™ Energy Vampires Collection
$49.95 USD
Then there are the people who don’t necessarily cause chaos – they just drain every last drop of joy out of the room. The complainers, the mood killers and the people who can turn a perfectly good day into an emotional endurance test. These are our Energy Vampires.
The Energy Vampires Collection was created in their honor. Think of it as a range of gag gifts for the people who leave you exhausted after a five-minute conversation. Will a Human Repellent Spray actually stop them? Absolutely not. Will handing them one make you feel better? Quite possibly.
4 Piece Collection Includes:
- Family Member Detox™ Spray the Drama Away!
- The EX Exterminator™ Spray the Past Away!
- The Chronic Complainer™ No More Whining!
- The Know-It-All™ Repels Narcissism!
Pickup currently not available
Choose Your Gag Gifts for the Socially Unavoidable
Defend your sanity from the everyday annoyances of human beings with our Human Repellent Sprays. Are you looking for some funny family gifts? Maybe some funny birthday gifts. Possibly even some funny coworkers leaving gifts to show them just how much you are going to miss them! Take those individuals down one spray at a time! Shop your favorite spray or bundle today!
People Suck Frequently Asked Questions
What is People Suck™?
People Suck™ is the brand behind Human Repellent Sprays, a range of gags and gifts inspired by the irritating characters we all encounter. From chronic complainers and know-it-alls to influencers and toxic mansplainers, we take the people who test your patience and turn them into something worth laughing about.
Why did you create Human Repellent Sprays?
Because people are annoying and pretending otherwise was getting exhausting. Human Repellent Sprays were created as a silly way to call out those everyday behaviours that drive us all mad. They won't actually make anyone disappear, but handing someone a bottle with an uncomfortably accurate label comes pretty close to therapy.
Are People Suck™ sprays actually human repellent?
Absolutely not. We'd be considerably richer if they were. Our Human Repellent Sprays contain 100% purified water, with no chemicals or toxic ingredients. They're funny gag gifts, not a scientific breakthrough, although we're keeping our options open.
What’s the difference between Urban Decay and Energy Vampires?
It all comes down to how someone sucks. Urban Decay covers the obnoxious, entitled and generally irritating characters who make the world around them worse. Energy Vampires are the complainers and mood killers who somehow drain the joy out of perfectly good situations. Different symptoms. Same diagnosis: people.
Are People Suck™ products meant to offend?
They're meant to get a laugh. People Suck™ is deliberately irreverent, ridiculous and not particularly interested in taking life seriously. Our gag gifts work best when given to someone who can laugh at themselves, preferably after they've finished accusing everyone in the room of choosing the spray.
Who can I give a People Suck™ spray to?
Friends, family, partners, coworkers, essentially anyone whose personality has earned them one. They make funny gifts for birthdays, Christmas, Secret Santa, office leaving parties, bachelor and bachelorette parties, or for absolutely no occasion beyond someone getting on your last nerve.
How long does delivery take?
We currently ship People Suck™ orders throughout the United States. Orders are processed within 2 business days, with delivery estimated at 3–5 business days once your order has shipped. Spend over $45 and shipping is free, which sounds like a pretty good excuse to decide that one Human Repellent Spray simply isn’t enough.
“Planet Earth humans feature complex social rituals such as emotional turbulence disguised as conversation which can quickly become both strange and obnoxious. Recommend use of People Suck™ repellent sprays just in case."
ZZZOOOMR
INTERSTELLER - DRONE OPERATOR
